This month we have lost 4 (scratch that, its actually 9) young men as a result of gay bashing. When reading their stories I cried and cried and my heart screamed out to these young men. You see most don't know but when I was pulled out the my senior year of high school my life was thrown into a whirlwind. My parents became physically, emotionally, verbally, mentally and even spiritually abusive. My college career, family structure, self worth and stability were threatened. I clearly recall washing dishes hand and arms in the sink of hot water full of knives thinking that surely I deserve to be free from this place and I could end it all with a slit of my wrist. Luckily I failed at suicide and I had two teachers (Dr.Kathy Garland and Dr. Susan Archer) that refuse to see me be fed to the wolves and became permanent fixtures in my progress and stayed on me to ensure I graduated and entered college. Unfortunately not everyone is afforded the benefit of having teachers like I had. Today someone posted to my FB that this is some type of "natural selection" weeding out the weak people. When asked about creating a safe zone in the class room recently a teacher told me that we didn't speak on those type issue here in the south. WELL, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DON'T SPEAK ON IT? Billy Lucas (15) September 9, 2010. Indiana
Cody J. Barker (17) September 13, 2010. Wisconsin
Seth Walsh (13) September 19, 2010. California
Tyler Clementi (18) September 22, 2010. New Jersey
Asher Brown (13) September 23, 2010. Texas
Harrison Chase Brown (15) September, 25 2010. Colorado
Raymond Chase (19) September 29, 2010. Rhode Island
Felix Sacco (17) September 29, 2010. Massachusetts
Caleb Nolt (14) September 30, 2010. Indiana
Lives gone! Stop the bullying!
REST IN LOVE GUYS! I'M FIGHTING HARD TO ENSURE YOUR STRUGGLES WON'T BE IN VAIN
Just thought I would take the time to share with you all an experience that has given me great joy. Those that follow my writings know that I have an amazing life coach (@MyLifeKeys) by the name of Stephanie Alva (@Stephanie_Alva), well Step never hesitates to tell me that I am destined to do great things and that my story will help the masses. It took me a while to subscribe to the notion that I, the smart, aggressive, critical thinker would be able to nurture the growth of others. Well as I work with Stephanie she makes me take good long hard looks in the mirror, and no not in the "beat em over the head, fix yourself manner" she has helped me develop a love for self that is unshakable.
What does that have to do with nurturing others you might ask?
Well what I've learned is that before you can love anyone else you must love yourself, know yourself and embrace yourself. Once you love yourself it allows you to explore your gifts and talents and allows you to develop those talents and become confident in them.
Stephanie...... #PAUSE
I was greatly privileged to befriend a wonderful guy and author named Travis Scott (@Trav_WORDSMITH) who gave my life a bit of normalcy. You see being a thinking guy I have at times felt different, set aside and misunderstood, but now, now I have Travis. Travis gets "it," understands that life is meant to be explored and enjoyed. Because of this we've developed quite the bond, he calls me his Sweet Pea, I call him my FOY (Fountain of Youth) I won't spill his age but understand that age is why he's been given that name. Any who, during one of our day long convo's FOY me to the Artist Miguel Jontel, love when I tell you I fell in for his music!!!! WHEW! Well two weeks later when FOY tells me to check out Avery Sunshine (@AverySunshine) I don't hesitate to find her music and I fall in again and immediately find her on twitter.
Now let me show you how awesome God is...
As I look over Ms. Sunshine's timeline (oh don't act like you don't do it) I see her tweet about a performance here in town the next day...I of course go crazy and I tweet her, she tweets back asking me if I'm coming to the performance, and you know I was going. So FOY and I make our plans and the next day comes and we're headed downtown, now check this, one site said doors open at 8 and another said her set was due to start around 10. Well FOY and I decide to go and get some food before the show, during FOY and I enjoy amazing convo about everything from religion to politics and during the convo FOY says that he could see me working in a career where im nurturing people's growth (OK so two people that I love and that don't know each other are telling me the same thing) and I of course agreed. We leave the restaurant ready to vibe to this velvet smooth voice! Little did we know that we would lost driving in circles for a good 15-20 minutes and I won't even mention parking downtown on a Friday night.
We arrive...
Walk in and just as if God himself ushered us in we arrive just before Ms. Sunshine takes the mic.
She ministers... Ms. Sunshine is sanging! No not singing, but making sweet love to the notes and words making sure she caressed each one and wrapped it in love and sent it to each of us personally. She vibes, invited the audience to join her in this vibe and we are swaying, bouncing, shouting heck out right dancing and this AMAZING voice and heart. FOY and I can barely contain ourselves slapping each other on the shoulders and knees... COME ON AVERY SANG! WHHHEEEEW! YES MA'AM! AND THEN... she speaks and God occupies her heart and her mind and she lets us know that we should be living our dreams, operating within our gifts and not just surviving.
Now wait...
I have two friends telling me I need to be helping folk, now this heavenly being is telling me to walk in my gifts... this is becoming surreal I mean someone please play the "Twilight Zone" theme song... this ain't natural. So I thought.
Ms. Avery gets up and I turn to FOY and i say "I just want to hug her."
So we approach...
She smiles thanks us for coming and I say in her ear, I told you I was coming.
She pauses...
"CB-cal? "
YES!!!! Fireworks, not only did this great spirit just minister to my soul she remember our twitter conversation, then she and FOY converse...
"JUSTTAV?"
OMG THIS WOMAN IS AMAZING! I learned in that moment that she doesn't want to just know about her fans she want her spirit and mind to commune with her fans!
My spirit was full! FOY and I could barely make convo on the way home..stuck in awe we rode home.
When I got in last night I called Stephanie and told her what happened and I could here the "I TOLD YOU SO" in her voice lol but I wasn't mad at it, I embraced it. God was speaking and I had to listen. I went into meditation and when I came back to earth I jumped on twitter and twittascope was filling my timeline, I jokingly click the Capricorn link and this is what I read:
"You may be driven to succeed now, but this isn't just about today's transit. Powerful Pluto is a long-term visitor to your sign, yet a square from the illuminating Sun can stir up fears about possibly failing. Instead of falling victim to self-doubt and worry, apply your energy toward being successful while remembering that this isn't an isolated event, but part of a much greater transition."
NOW THAT WAS ENOUGH MAKE ME WELL UP! Now as i sit and I take this in, I have no choice but to say I'M READY! Are you?
Oh and cause I love y'all imma link y'all to Ms. Sunshine, please check her out and support this great woman!
One should never apologize or feel bad for releasing someone to their better good. The truth is in this love game you will only win once and that is till death do you part. What does that mean? That means there is only one person who has been created for you, and you will have to date a while until you come across them. No your dating will not be in vain, each relationship teaches you lessons about yourself and shows you what things you will and will not tolerate. Basically life is fine tuning your frequency so that you and the one you're meant to be with can be on the same note and flow into each other's life.
Let life do it's job.
In my dating past I've found myself dating a rainbow of guys, some highly educated, some not, some with power careers and others working in retail. I dated those with beautiful personalities and some of the most physically appealing guys you would want to see. In each failed relationship there was one common denominator.....
ME!
I determined that with each guy even in their differences they were overall the same, just in a different suit, that suit was one of lacking, lacking in common value. Value is extremely important, you see certain issues are inevitable in relationships, to mitigate damage sharing common values is extremely important. Sharing values will make approaching life's issues a lot easier because you live life on one accord.
Values....
When thinking on values one has to get past the physical things like looks, job, education, money... you know lifestyle entities... are those things important? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't even think I would lead you to believe anything otherwise, but for a moment come with me if you will... You have your man or woman and they have all of the lifestyle items you say you like and you're head over heels, ready to put on a ring, well what happens when they cheat? When they lie about where they where and what they were doing and doing it with? Oh now you're saying "(S)He's not the man/woman I married!" But sweets I'm here to tell you, (s)he is exactly the man/woman you married you just never took the time to learn his/her mind. You were so focused on dating his/her resume that you lost touch with who the man/woman was. Take time to figure out what it is that you value and and when you start dating be sure that if you decide to go further with this person that they share your values. More importantly before you start dating be sure the YOU live up to those values, stop wanting a lover who will give you the world when you wouldn't share even your thoughts with them.
Take time to get to know you...
If a relationship doesn't work out the absolute worse thing you can do is let you ex rob you of the desire to love again. Once you have gone on in life, release your past, learn from it and let it go. Thank the heavens for the experiences and ask that they not be in vain and move forward in life. Would you buy damaged good from the store? No? Well why would you expect your next mate to want a bitter, scarred heart?
GAME PLAN:
Know what you want, be what you want, learn from and release your past, and get back in the game!
Oh and always remember... Communicate in all things and in all things communicate, after all, it is the language of adults!
Be ready to tell your lover, as Corinne Bailey Rae says it, "The blackest lily, the blackest pony, won't protect my heart from you."
who dictates what's acceptable amongst Christians when speaking on things that go against the teachings of the bible?
After a session with the great Stephanie Alva this question came to mind. Society and religion have created homosexuality into a mega sin it seems, which I find very amusing. People tend to not want to embrace homosexuals because it goes against their teachings, some don't even want them in their homes as if somehow their home will catch the gay. Think for a moment though, would you not allow a Buddhist or a Muslim in your home? Do they not lead lives that go against the teachings of the Bible? Would you think twice before going to lunch with them? Would you end your friendship if you found out they practice a religion that they felt was the true religion? Why is it okay then for them to be in your company comfortably? Would you try to pray Islam out of them? Is it okay because they worship a god even though it isn't yours? Might want to check your ten commandments. Just thoughts, thoughts is all!
