I'm Ready

Just thought I would take the time to share with you all an experience that has given me great joy. Those that follow my writings know that I have an amazing life coach (@MyLifeKeys) by the name of Stephanie Alva (@Stephanie_Alva), well Step never hesitates to tell me that I am destined to do great things and that my story will help the masses. It took me a while to subscribe to the notion that I, the smart, aggressive, critical thinker would be able to nurture the growth of others. Well as I work with Stephanie she makes me take good long hard looks in the mirror, and no not in the "beat em over the head, fix yourself manner" she has helped me develop a love for self that is unshakable.

What does that have to do with nurturing others you might ask?

Well what I've learned is that before you can love anyone else you must love yourself, know yourself and embrace yourself. Once you love yourself it allows you to explore your gifts and talents and allows you to develop those talents and become confident in them.

Stephanie...... #PAUSE

I was greatly privileged to befriend a wonderful guy and author named Travis Scott (@Trav_WORDSMITH) who gave my life a bit of normalcy. You see being a thinking guy I have at times felt different, set aside and misunderstood, but now, now I have Travis. Travis gets "it," understands that life is meant to be explored and enjoyed. Because of this we've developed quite the bond, he calls me his Sweet Pea, I call him my FOY (Fountain of Youth) I won't spill his age but understand that age is why he's been given that name. Any who, during one of our day long convo's FOY me to the Artist Miguel Jontel, love when I tell you I fell in for his music!!!! WHEW! Well two weeks later when FOY tells me to check out Avery Sunshine (@AverySunshine) I don't hesitate to find her music and I fall in again and immediately find her on twitter.

Now let me show you how awesome God is...

As I look over Ms. Sunshine's timeline (oh don't act like you don't do it) I see her tweet about a performance here in town the next day...I of course go crazy and I tweet her, she tweets back asking me if I'm coming to the performance, and you know I was going. So FOY and I make our plans and the next day comes and we're headed downtown, now check this, one site said doors open at 8 and another said her set was due to start around 10. Well FOY and I decide to go and get some food before the show, during FOY and I enjoy amazing convo about everything from religion to politics and during the convo FOY says that he could see me working in a career where im nurturing people's growth (OK so two people that I love and that don't know each other are telling me the same thing) and I of course agreed. We leave the restaurant ready to vibe to this velvet smooth voice! Little did we know that we would lost driving in circles for a good 15-20 minutes and I won't even mention parking downtown on a Friday night.

We arrive...

Walk in and just as if God himself ushered us in we arrive just before Ms. Sunshine takes the mic.

She ministers...
Ms. Sunshine is sanging! No not singing, but making sweet love to the notes and words making sure she caressed each one and wrapped it in love and sent it to each of us personally. She vibes, invited the audience to join her in this vibe and we are swaying, bouncing, shouting heck out right dancing and this AMAZING voice and heart. FOY and I can barely contain ourselves slapping each other on the shoulders and knees... COME ON AVERY SANG! WHHHEEEEW! YES MA'AM! AND THEN... she speaks and God occupies her heart and her mind and she lets us know that we should be living our dreams, operating within our gifts and not just surviving.

Now wait...

I have two friends telling me I need to be helping folk, now this heavenly being is telling me to walk in my gifts... this is becoming surreal I mean someone please play the "Twilight Zone" theme song... this ain't natural. So I thought.

Ms. Avery gets up and I turn to FOY and i say "I just want to hug her."

So we approach...

She smiles thanks us for coming and I say in her ear, I told you I was coming.

She pauses...

"CB-cal? "

YES!!!! Fireworks, not only did this great spirit just minister to my soul she remember our twitter conversation, then she and FOY converse...

"JUSTTAV?"

OMG THIS WOMAN IS AMAZING! I learned in that moment that she doesn't want to just know about her fans she want her spirit and mind to commune with her fans!

My spirit was full! FOY and I could barely make convo on the way home..stuck in awe we rode home.

When I got in last night I called Stephanie and told her what happened and I could here the "I TOLD YOU SO" in her voice lol but I wasn't mad at it, I embraced it. God was speaking and I had to listen. I went into meditation and when I came back to earth I jumped on twitter and twittascope was filling my timeline, I jokingly click the Capricorn link and this is what I read:

"You may be driven to succeed now, but this isn't just about today's transit. Powerful Pluto is a long-term visitor to your sign, yet a square from the illuminating Sun can stir up fears about possibly failing. Instead of falling victim to self-doubt and worry, apply your energy toward being successful while remembering that this isn't an isolated event, but part of a much greater transition."

NOW THAT WAS ENOUGH MAKE ME WELL UP! Now as i sit and I take this in, I have no choice but to say I'M READY! Are you?


Oh and cause I love y'all imma link y'all to Ms. Sunshine, please check her out and support this great woman!

Au revoir mon amour

One should never apologize or feel bad for releasing someone to their better good. The truth is in this love game you will only win once and that is till death do you part. What does that mean? That means there is only one person who has been created for you, and you will have to date a while until you come across them. No your dating will not be in vain, each relationship teaches you lessons about yourself and shows you what things you will and will not tolerate. Basically life is fine tuning your frequency so that you and the one you're meant to be with can be on the same note and flow into each other's life.

Let life do it's job.

In my dating past I've found myself dating a rainbow of guys, some highly educated, some not, some with power careers and others working in retail. I dated those with beautiful personalities and some of the most physically appealing guys you would want to see. In each failed relationship there was one common denominator.....


ME!


I determined that with each guy even in their differences they were overall the same, just in a different suit, that suit was one of lacking, lacking in common value. Value is extremely important, you see certain issues are inevitable in relationships, to mitigate damage sharing common values is extremely important. Sharing values will make approaching life's issues a lot easier because you live life on one accord.


Values....

When thinking on values one has to get past the physical things like looks, job, education, money... you know lifestyle entities... are those things important? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't even think I would lead you to believe anything otherwise, but for a moment come with me if you will... You have your man or woman and they have all of the lifestyle items you say you like and you're head over heels, ready to put on a ring, well what happens when they cheat? When they lie about where they where and what they were doing and doing it with? Oh now you're saying "(S)He's not the man/woman I married!" But sweets I'm here to tell you, (s)he is exactly the man/woman you married you just never took the time to learn his/her mind. You were so focused on dating his/her resume that you lost touch with who the man/woman was. Take time to figure out what it is that you value and and when you start dating be sure that if you decide to go further with this person that they share your values. More importantly before you start dating be sure the YOU live up to those values, stop wanting a lover who will give you the world when you wouldn't share even your thoughts with them.

Take time to get to know you...

If a relationship doesn't work out the absolute worse thing you can do is let you ex rob you of the desire to love again. Once you have gone on in life, release your past, learn from it and let it go. Thank the heavens for the experiences and ask that they not be in vain and move forward in life. Would you buy damaged good from the store? No? Well why would you expect your next mate to want a bitter, scarred heart?

GAME PLAN:

Know what you want, be what you want, learn from and release your past, and get back in the game!

Oh and always remember... Communicate in all things and in all things communicate, after all, it is the language of adults!

Be ready to tell your lover, as Corinne Bailey Rae says it, "The blackest lily, the blackest pony, won't protect my heart from you."

Question

who dictates what's acceptable amongst Christians when speaking on things that go against the teachings of the bible?

After a session with the great Stephanie Alva this question came to mind. Society and religion have created homosexuality into a mega sin it seems, which I find very amusing. People tend to not want to embrace homosexuals because it goes against their teachings, some don't even want them in their homes as if somehow their home will catch the gay. Think for a moment though, would you not allow a Buddhist or a Muslim in your home? Do they not lead lives that go against the teachings of the Bible? Would you think twice before going to lunch with them? Would you end your friendship if you found out they practice a religion that they felt was the true religion? Why is it okay then for them to be in your company comfortably? Would you try to pray Islam out of them? Is it okay because they worship a god even though it isn't yours? Might want to check your ten commandments. Just thoughts, thoughts is all!

iStand

I tend to find it pleasing
That you love to count me out
That you can't get
The greatness that life is bringing about
That you don't comprehend how i push forward
With no worry or doubt
iStand

You see i no longer take for granted
That i was given legs to rise
Wings to fly
A heart that beats so strong I met you face to face
Though you would love to see my demise
iStand

Since I don't look outward for validation
Don't need no comfort from civilization
I am love I give love I breath love
Cause Im made from love the father of all creation
iStand

Choosing purpose over pain
greatness over mundane
Understand that if I don't make the first step
Things will always be the same
iStand

is it is or is it ain't

I love you
I hate you
I hate that I love you
I would love nothing more than to be able to hate you
I LOVE YOU
Does one ever stop loving someone?
Is love infinite with a definite direction?
Can one that hurts your heart beyond measure still be deserving of your love?
Is there any type of love that isn't pure?
If not aren't terms like true love or pure love redundant?
I LOVE YOU
Can love heal anything?
Is love like an emotional super fruit for the soul?
Can someone love you and still absentmindedly cause you pain?
Can one be logical with love?
Does love make sense?
What is love?
I LOVE YOU
Can one love you without first loving themselves?
If one stays in a "bad" situation with love being an excuse actually love themselves?
Can you truly love the next without taking a break after loving the ex?
If you have pure hate in your heart can you truly love anyone or anything?
I LOVE YOU, or do I?
Wait is it okay to question love?
Hmm not sure but I do know that loving you is giving you the complete ability to destroy me and trusting you not to do it. I hate that i can't see the future and know whether or not this investment is a good one. But then this would no longer require trust then huh? Its a gamble, a card game...lets hope we have hands full of hearts, no spades.
LOVE

Super Hero

Recently I was afforded the opportunity to get an honest point of view from two people who I have a high level of respect for. If you have ever experienced this from someone who truly loves and respects you unconditionally then you understand the wonderful experience it can be. Well one of the people my younger bro explained to me that he had a great deal of respect for me and my strength, the other my mentor and life coach brought to my attention my disconnect between myself and the concept of deserving love.

Self…………………………………………Strength……………………………………………………deserving love

The thought that one can be disconnected from feeling worthy of love seems so unnatural yet is so common place in our society. You think of all the times someone tells someone they aren’t worthy, that they will never do anything or be anything in life, think of anytime you’ve seen someone’s accomplishments brushed off or laughed off. Each time this happens and message is sent to the soul that you aren’t worthy, that you aren’t good enough, essentially that you aren’t deserving of love.

After a period of listening to this one becomes conditioned to believe that they and love are not meant to occupy the same space. Look at it like this, take a child raised by vegetarian parents, while it might not seem to most kids to be presented a meal where no meat was involved, but to the child who has been conditioned to not consume meat it seems perfectly natural.

....it seems perfectly natural

Natural, a thought that seems universal but... I subscribe to the concept of it being relative to experience. I for one find it natural to push love away, after a childhood of hatred being thrown like daggers and not wanting to feel that pain again I tend to push people away so that they don't have the opportunity to to cause that type of pain. You see I didn't trust people and their "love" as a real because the love that was supposed to be "natural" wasn't a love that i wanted to experience.

Push...

To protect myself i would push people and things away. When issues came up I would dive head first into myself and work, not really giving time or opportunity to process any emotions that came attached to the issue,no, my mindset was to fix it and move on. So to the outside world it appeared to be strength, but all the while it was actually denial, denial that I was supposed to be human and feel things, I pretended to be super human and attempted to move forward not noting that each unresolved issues carried with them a ball and chain holding me back.

Ironically true strength didn't show it's face until I decided to detach the ball and chain and deal with what was at hand. Stay tuned as I train and develop my Super Hero strength.

Too be continued...

Why are you apologizing?

Have you ever noticed that we (the gays) are apologizing for simply being? Don't understand? Let me explain, you meet someone that is heterosexual and you somehow or another find yourself letting that person know that you're gay. Why do we do this? Personally I believe we do this to give the person the opportunity to either embrace us or let us know that they aren't pleased in out lifestyle. Of course we do this because we have been conditioned to believe that society, especially males, are not too comfortable with accepting our community. We typically feel more comfortable around females in that they more times than not cling to us, thrilled at the chance of gaining a personal stylist, beautician, make-up artist, interior decorator or overall hang out buddy that isn't trying push up on them in a sexual manner.

Now why do I write any of this?

Well today while speaking with my life coaches from My Life Keys,Stephanie Alva and Tavaghn Monts I was speaking on a lot of the issues that I face as a homosexual and after the conversation my thought process went along the lines of "I wonder how comfortable Tavaghn was while I was speaking..." then it hit me, as I'm learning about energies and what you put out is what you receive I noted that we assume that the person we met is judging us and all the while we're judging not letting them show us that they don't subscribe to the ignorant small minded notions of society. Basically we have to believe that we are worthy enough to be ourselves around all people without being judged.

Know that you are good enough, as you are, today! I am an amazing spirit that all walks of life enjoy being around. Be sure to check out My Life Keys at www.mylifekeys.com